Why Doesn't Therapy Work For Borderline Personality Disorder?

In this video episode of Meditations & More, The Little Shaman discusses Borderline Personality Disorder and reasons why therapy is often ineffective in treating it for some people. **Again: in the beginning of this video I state that many people with BPD do find therapy helpful and successful. This video looks at reasons why it is not successful for others. Please heed the trigger warning. This video is not intended to be viewed by personality disordered people. Helpful links: http://hubpages.com/health/Why-Therapy-Often-Doesnt-Work-For-Borderline-Personality-Disorder Visit http://www.littleshaman.com for more.

Comments

Birgitta Catarina: my borderline was so obsessed with me, she literally stole my persona and acted like she was me, while secretly trashing me behind my back. I notice there are these new bpd videos coming out made by borderlines whom seek victimhood, while never admitting the wrongs they do to others. they also troll like no one else can. I was really happily surprised with your video. subscribed. :)

Vickie Zaccardo: Oh yay, the leprosy of mental illness. So little hope

Vickie Zaccardo: Misperceptions..thoroughly embedded misperceptions. No convincing them otherwise. Just butt my head against this today. And it was in conjunction with an incident from 2 days ago that had me so upset. I had commented on one of your other episodes the other day. Today it turned-out that the 'reason' a comment was made to me the other day ( which totally triggered me) was their past misperception and distortion of a conversation ( actually a series of conversations) that took place SIX or SEVEN years ago. They have just in the past year brought this little ditty to the table. I was shocked the first time it surfaced. At that point my mind said, "What!? I 'know' I didn't say that, at least not in 'that' fashion. They totally excluded all context and targeted on one sentence and their misperception of it. I had tried to explain that past conversation from my perspective and it had triggered an explosive reaction from them. It was totally bizarre and shocking. Since listening to your podcasts I know get it. I can't convince them otherwise. I have 'even' gone as far to say that I apologize if that is how they perceived it. Apparently that is a thorn in their psyche and I can't remove it and it will recurr, which it did today in the most bizarre way. Their explanation of why they said what they said 2 days ago was based on that mispercieved thorn from 6-7 years ago. It threw me for a loop. I was like, "but these are totally different things. I don't get the relationship." They actually said, " you are right. They are opposite ends of the spectrum but..." I just thought, "ok, leave it go." And I did. Thanks to listening to your shows, I was able to maintain, today. The discussion today also allowed me to see how every conversation really is about them, even if it isn't about them. Don't know if I've made any sense here, but big thanks! P.s. just had an epiphany of how that misperception all those years ago manifested as fear of rejection and abandonment to that person.

Tamar H.: It should also be noted that someone with BPD can sometimes put on the appearance of trying to get help when they are actually skewing things heavily in their favor. My Dad eventually kinda pretended to admit that he needed help, but his version of "help" was to sniff out a very specific type of regressive Christian counselor (and I am not bashing Christians in general there) who would take his side and ignore the rest of the family, because he was male and therefore the "head of the household." I don't even know if he was doing this consciously, but nearly everyone he saw mysteriously took his side, when we knew that he had been physically, religiously and emotionally abusive for decades at that point. My only option ended up being no-contact, no-contact with his friends and supporters, dropped our whole church like a hot potato and never looked back.

Honestly, IF you are BPD and are genuinely working towards recovery then you are awesome.

10klakestate4: A spiritual issue & CHOICE of refusing to let go of childhood abuse & taking it out on others. Bpd Mnarc parent's egotistical angry rage, against spouse, kids, & others.

Sonia Spano: Awesome advice. God bless.

Super Me: My mother was diagnosed with paranoid borderline personality disorder. No one can reach these people - therapeutically or not.

Sadly, my friends 18 yo daughter was diagnosed with this and committed suicide late last year 😥

VERY tough nut to crack, BPD.

By the way, as always, love your videos. My gosh, you are stunning!! Beauty AND brains. 😊

HeavyMetalPedal: How do you have this knowledge? You are very intuitive. Thank you for talking about this. She is crazy and all I tried to do was love her. I now know everything she said was a lie. it is so hurtful to realize all she said was a lie. I can not grasp her monster within her when she can be so loving. It will fuck your head up! There is no fixing her. She has destroyed my whole understanding of what humans are.

Robert Piper: Thank you for your video. My daughter had BPD. She passed away at 25. Her mother and I were in a constant state of confusion for years. She was a very soft and tender soul but she progressively saw the world more and more hostile toward her. She couldn't control her spending impulses. And to make things more complicated she had an congenital kidney disease that wore her body down. I understand the frustrations of the family. I wish I had understood the disease better back then while we were going through it. I would have done things much differently. Keep up the good work.

Sharla Cobain: I've been prescribed antidepressants and no talk therapy has ever helped me. So I stay isolated.

Michael Massey: Answering the title- because they use this as a crutch. A way to treat people however with no consequences. I will not fucking enable these selfish motherfuckers.

susan price: There is an awesome book about a woman suffering with BPD. Its called "Get me out of here" and its a really good read as well as educational.

Adel Bush: The BPD went to therapy for almost a decade. No progress. His ex wife and family thought the diagnosis was wrong cause he was married and didn't have the "unstable relationships" that's said to be the BPD trademark. Little they knew what started happening when the infinitely bending wife wanted to have her own life, after devoting herself to him for years. The BPD went suicidal and cheated and started using multiple drugs and marriage ended in shocking divorce for the wife who had helped him for 12 years. Earlier he was diagnosed with narcissism. Also denied.

He was over her in 4 months. That's when I got into it with the most craziest "love at first sight" love bombing I had ever experienced. "I love you, let's have babies" within the first two hours. I fell bad.

He said he is not sure if he ever loved the wife and married her because early on he cheated and she didn't leave. She wasn't that very attractive and he knew she wouldn't leave him. He was surprised how easy it was to get over a twelve year relationship. RED FLAG!⛳

Whole thing lasted for 1 and half years ending in me figuring the diagnosis was absolutely correct, I thought I was going crazy, he cheated and got bored when I for once needed help.

I am still in the shock of realizing how everything was fake and he never loved me, but things he got from me. The selfishness was so unbelievable I went straight to denial since the first time the mask slipped. Now unwrapping the horrible gift I've given myself by investing all I am for a person who I loved but to whom I was a mere commodity. 🎁

God bless I hope I get through🌠

Andrew F: Thank you so much for all of your videos. They have truly helped me understand so much more of what was really going on in my last relationship. The problem I had was that even though my now ex was going to therapy, she was painting me as the narcissist/ borderline so naturally the therapist was giving her the tools to know what I was going to do when she started provoking me and pushing buttons for a reaction. Upon not receiving a reaction like she was accustomed to me giving, she was already prepared for it and the baiting into further arguments and escalating the situation went automatically to the absurd and ridiculous

D Michelle: This is what I fear for my ex. If he does go to therapy, I don't think he will get the correct diagnosis. It took me a year to diagnosis him and only because I spent so much intimate time with him and saw things a therapist would never see. The way he describes his behavior is not the same as how he actually behaves. I do have an allied health background so I was able to recognize a lot of the signs and criteria for his disorder from a medical perspective but I can see where it could easily be missed in a traditional healthcare setting.

Donny Bennett: It's nice to finally see you! Been listening to many of your videos. Excellent stuff.

notyourblonde: I believe the misdiagnosis situation is far reaching and covers many individuals. I also believe that drug therapy is the first go to treatment which many times will block progress of finding the truth of the problem.

Dream Diction: 2:30 "Normal people fit their emotions to the facts but BPD people fit the facts to their emotions."

the51project: Thank you for this - I also show some borderline symptoms from the dms (not lies tho) - but other symptoms quite close to what I feel with CPTSD. I saw a therapist for a year after I left a woman I truly loved, but had deep abandonment issues, from my narcissist mother's upbringing as a scapegoat. My fight/flight mode has been on terminal 'flight' a loooonggg time. She had no clue about childhood trauma / narcissism. She asked me once to picture my mother in teh room and tell her 'no'. I couldn't do it 'strongly' - then the therapist never went near that subject again in 6 months - was all about 'how I was feeling' - I think I was there to help her mortgage payments.

Naively, for 20 years, I wanted to 'fix myself' - then I could 'fix my birth family' - guess I'm not bordeline. Had to leave my birth-family - although I had been mostly discarded anyhow. What a big mess all this is. Thank you so much for your work. I would be lost without this information.

Informed Society: You're the first person I discovered to speak with straight forward, honesty about the reality of BPD, while others are making excuses for their behavior.

Glad to see someone else speak with honesty and integrity when it comes to real issues that affects everyone.

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