Borderline Personality Disorder is BAD? therapist kati morton talking BPD, psychology & therapy

Negative videos seem to be going up about borderline personality disorder, specifically therapy, healthcare and mindfulness. I think that because so many people (professionals included) talk negatively about BPD, those of us who struggle with it can feel like it's hopeless and helpless. The truth is that BPD is something you can overcome! Yes it is a lot of work, but if we don't like how we are feeling then we have to do something about it to change it. Right?! It is my opinion that BPD is caused by either a lack of attachment to a primary care giver (mom, dad, grandma, etc) when we are a baby or it is caused by trauma. The attachment struggle can later lead to us trying to "fill" that need by other people in our lives, while also feeling scared that they will leave us too. So we want people around, and we want love and support, but we also fear that we can't trust people to be there for us and so we often try to push them away or even run away ourselves. Trauma can also lead to a lack of trust or feelings of safety. Therefore, our emotions can sort of "come out of nowhere" and we instantly feel scared and unsafe. Both of these situations lead us to feeling scared, not safe or trusting of those around us. That will make relationships very difficult. But does that make you a bad person? Absolutely not. I hope that you found this video helpful. Please share!! Because the more positive and accurate information we have out there the better. xox Videos about BPD: https://youtu.be/zPopjuKuweg https://youtu.be/E56S5cWSvuw Video about DBT: https://youtu.be/hDJi86n9-Rk Video with Hannah! https://youtu.be/KIBiRsK7uBA Website http://www.katimorton.com A BIG THANK YOU to my Patreon Patrons! Without you, I couldn't keep creating videos. xoxo https://www.patreon.com/katimorton I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos! Business email: linnea@toneymedia.com Download my workbooks: visit Itunes and search for Kati Morton Mail: PO Box #665 1223 Wilshire Blvd. Santa Monica, CA 90403

Comments

Fem Jay: People with BPD can't help it. I don't personally suffer from BPD, but I know someone who does

Joshua Levan: people are are so sympathetic when it comes to PTSD, but not BPD. They are essentially the same thing.

Lucky One: My girl have bpd and npd
It’s hard on us but I can not even being to imagine how hard things are for her 😞
She is not bad it’s the disorder
I’m heartbroken 😔

DJ Jordan: Psychologists treat those with BPD like shit.

mariaconda: I have, or I should say had, a friend with BPD. I don't think people with BPD are bad people, but I would not label my ex-friend as a good person. She is extremely manipulative and very volatile. She has said and done unspeakable things to me, such as attacking and ridiculing me as a freak because of the way I was born. She'd constantly gas light me by trying to convince me I had poor social skills so that she always gets her way with the excuse that whatever she decides we do is for my benefit so that I can "grow an mature emotionally and intellectually".

Hell, once, when I was spending the night at her place, she almost managed to get me raped. While I was sleeping on her couch she went to meet up with a guy she was sort of seeing at the local pub, but there she spotted another guy she wanted to flirt with, so to get rid of her boyfriend she gave him the keys to her apartment and told him that he could go and have his way with me and that I'd be totally cool with. So in comes this guy who immediately starts to fondle me while telling me to take of my clothes and ask me if I have any lube or massage oil. I mean, WTF!??? Luckily I managed to get rid of the guy, but then later when she came back she was furious when she found out I hadn't entertained and kept her boyfriend waiting around while she was out, so she told me to pack up my things and get the hell out (this happened at around 3am in the middle of winter, and I lived about 20 miles away and had no car).

She would do these kinds of things to me all the time, but the worst thing of it all was her unwillingness to ever take any responsibility for any of her actions. She'd always chalk up her bad and abusive behaviour to her BPD and demand that any negative consequences be nullified as if it never had happened in the first place, and any negative reaction in me as a result of the abuse was totally unacceptable to her, and perfect grounds for more verbal abuse. According to her I was being an insensitive jerk to her for being affected in any way shape or form by her bad behaviour.

In the end I had to cut all ties with her. I had to block her on my phone and social media as she continued to harass, abuse and demand things from me. I'm still struggling with the anxiety of it all and the thought that there is a crazy person out there who has it in their head that I'm a hateful evil person out to ruin her life. I don't hate her or wish bad things upon. I don't sit around and ponder if she is a bad person or not. I just want her to leave me alone so that I can recover from the psychological damage caused by all the trauma and abuse she put me through.

Frank Rauen: Being the son of someone with BPD, it doesn't make you a bad person, it just gives you a much larger capacity to be a bad person. Good people don't threaten to kill themselves in front of their kids, insult their kids to destroy their self-esteem so they don't "abandon" them, or threaten to burn the family home down with them inside. If you have BPD and you have done this, you aren't a good person, or at least weren't for a period of time.

Kathryn Taylor: Do you have BPD? I see where you made some comments that made me think you understand in a more personal way.

Iquey: Thank you for your video. There are quite a few of those crappy videos demonizing those with BPD, particularly women, who were "driving their ex crazy." While I don't think anyone deserves to be emotionally abused in any relationship, lumping all the BPD people together as one cart of bad apples is a half-assed answer to society on what can truly be done to help everyone involved.

Jagoda Hoffmann: exactly! thank you for the video. Why then so many professionals throw BPD in together with narcissistic personality and psychopathy? I just don't understand it because psychotherapy helps BPD patients but it'll never help a psychopath...so putting it all in one category is just very misleading and wrong.

I can't remember my name: You are amazing! It literally took me every single day for two years of having to stop my self when ever i would become negative and angry and say "No! im not thinking like this anymore, I dont want to be like this, I want positivity in my life" and it has worked tremendously although I do still have my moments. Im at a point in my life where I feel I can handle a relationship as well, unlike when I was younger which is great, but I am still kind of nervous of pushing a lover away but im going for it im not letting that stop me!

Victoria Balla: Thank you

AdenosinePush: Absolutely nailed the etiology! Enjoyed this video immensely, you're clearly an excellent psychotherapist :)

Esther Loske: I dearly heartfully Thank You ! This video is so loving kind and loving ! It lifted the fear of a dark never ending hopelessness and
condemnation! You held out so much hope for a brighter less painful ,lonely life ! It meant the world to me !!! 💛

Leighann m: I had a good family life .but I was bullied and was in a mentally abusive relationship for 5 yrs I wonder if this contributed to my bpd

Stefania Harbulakova: I have a bad experience with BPD person. I mean BPD peaople are not bad. But Its bad not to tell the other person you have that disorder so that you could know what are you going into. I always though I could change that person. So in my experience important for BPD people is to be honest about themselves in the relationship.

Stuart Little: Hurt people hurt. I've had DBT, quit self medicating with alcohol and realise I am not a bad person.

tastyshades: I think i might be...im constantly ruining my realtionships...i know its my fault but i don't know why...

Marie Louise Mikolajczak: you make me believe i am a human, thanks for being so understanding.

AGactress14: What about for someone who hasn't experienced trauma or a bad childhood? I haven't and my therapist thinks I might have BPD.

Jennifer Berry: I am starting DBT group this Thursday

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