Negative videos seem to be going up about borderline personality disorder, specifically therapy, healthcare and mindfulness. I think that because so many people (professionals included) talk negatively about BPD, those of us who struggle with it can feel like it's hopeless and helpless. The truth is that BPD is something you can overcome! Yes it is a lot of work, but if we don't like how we are feeling then we have to do something about it to change it. Right?! It is my opinion that BPD is caused by either a lack of attachment to a primary care giver (mom, dad, grandma, etc) when we are a baby or it is caused by trauma. The attachment struggle can later lead to us trying to "fill" that need by other people in our lives, while also feeling scared that they will leave us too. So we want people around, and we want love and support, but we also fear that we can't trust people to be there for us and so we often try to push them away or even run away ourselves. Trauma can also lead to a lack of trust or feelings of safety. Therefore, our emotions can sort of "come out of nowhere" and we instantly feel scared and unsafe. Both of these situations lead us to feeling scared, not safe or trusting of those around us. That will make relationships very difficult. But does that make you a bad person? Absolutely not. I hope that you found this video helpful. Please share!! Because the more positive and accurate information we have out there the better. xox Videos about BPD: https://youtu.be/zPopjuKuweg https://youtu.be/E56S5cWSvuw Video about DBT: https://youtu.be/hDJi86n9-Rk Video with Hannah! https://youtu.be/KIBiRsK7uBA Website http://www.katimorton.com TWITTER http://www.twitter.com/katimorton FACEBOOK http://www.facebook.com/katimorton1 TUMBLR http://www.katimorton.tumblr.com PINTEREST http://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1 HELP! SUBTITLE VIDEOS http://goo.gl/OZOQXi WE NEED YOUR HELP! Subtitle videos if you know English or any other languages! You can help people who are either hearing impaired or non native English speaking. By doing this, you are helping others and strengthening our community. MY FREE WORKBOOKS Easy to follow at home workbooks for your mental health Self-Harm workbook http://goo.gl/N7LtwU Eating Disorder workbook http://goo.gl/DjOmkC KATIFAQ VIDEOS Wondering if I have answered a question like yours? Search for it here: http://goo.gl/1ECSlO MY VIDEO SCHEDULE Monday - New mental health topic video Thursday -q&a's, guests, mental health in the news, etc SENDING KATI STUFF PO Box 1223 Wilshire Blvd. #665 Santa Monica, CA 90403 BUSINESS INQUIRIES firstname.lastname@example.org Help us caption & translate this video! http://amara.org/v/Hhgz/ -~-~~-~~~-~~-~- Please watch: "Mitchell Davis talks Agoraphobia, OCD & Panic Attacks | On The Couch Ep. 3 with Kati Morton" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ra8gUzMUuXY -~-~~-~~~-~~-~-
AmiableMisanthrope: You are doing such great things. I was diagnosed last month, and your videos have been a tremendous instrument in my Healing. Your channel deserves every subscriber! Keep up the excellent work. :)
Beth H.: People with BPD aren't "bad." HOWEVER, their symptoms can drive them to act in a way that is harmful to others, and it is their responsibility to be mindful of that.
Michelle judd: I have BPD and why because my parent's should not or produced they were not capable so no , it comes from our childhood. How could people with a so called Brady Bunch upbringing understand .
Nilam Khadgi: I don't like cbt
Nilam Khadgi: what is dpt
lolayjay: kati, i have that same workbook & it's been really helping me!!! i've been on a path of self diagnosis & it's been really tough, but that DBT workbook has been helping a lot. :)
Niere H: I mean well depending on the person. If your not bad then your a pice of shit. There's a difference in being bad and being a pice of shit. Piece of shit meaning that you are a walking living constant fuck up a big time failure honestly. A bad person is like hitler. You know killing people yourself or getting people killed now that bad.
Sukhleen Kaur: i am living in india and here people say bpd is nothing and i do purously all the stuff and i am a cruel person people even the doctors are not wiliing to help i genuially need a help but nobody understands here
RoseGarden: I wish the whole psychiatric and psychological Community could study BPD more. I got kicked out of Mental Health because of the diagnosis BPD. now there's a danger I might get kicked off my disability benefits because I have BPD diagnosis from the social security psychiatrist. I'm really scared. I really want BPD to be seen as a mental illness not a bad person phenomenon. BPD is still seen as an axis 2 disorder. and that isn't covered by disability and it's not covered by Medicaid. So that puts me in a very bad place for therapy and for disability benefits although my symptoms do mess me up enough so that I can't work right now still. something thanks for the video I hope some of Medicaid therapists and psychiatrists can and Social Security doctors can see it the way you do. It would really help a lot. peace Carol, BPD versus c-ptsd patient
KillerQueen: I don't remember a trauma from my past and my mum was the best care giver in the world, but I still ended up with BPD. Why ?
Ari Michelle: you are absolutely amazing! thank you thank you thank you. it's so hard to find a good source for help...and you really care. love you sister 💗 love and light
Flora Schlesinger: wonderful video!
I wish more people who condemn those with BPD could see this!
Thank you for this.
Giovana Arruda Xoxo: Borderline waif here. Extremely depressed since a kid. Don't have a life. Tried suicide 3 times. Have no friends, never had friends or relationships, never never a job cause I run away in job interviews cause I have anxiety attacks. My life is ruined..
Nichole Alexandra: I honeslty, without a doubt, believe i have borderline. Ive been diagnosed with depression and adhd and i have self harm issues and ed behaviors ect. How do i bring up this "self diagnoses" to my therapist without him thinking i'm seeking attention or something idk
Alicia Jones: thank you xxx
pinooot-noir: I do think that many people with BPD are great people, just like anyone else. But I have a sibling with BPD that made my life a living hell. He would tear our family apart and take out everything on me (the younger sibling) because of his insecurity towards our parents. His symptoms and actions triggered a whole cascade of events in my family that ended up hurting me. I still struggle with those experiences. I'm not one to self diagnose, but it get ptsd vibes, or at least very noticeable reactions from that abuse and those memories. He's abused the people he's dated and treated his friends like shit. He's manipulated everyone around him. I have no hesitation in saying he's a bad person.
When people talk about those cases of "dangerous" people with BPD, I know it is a real thing. However, I don't think that having BPD alone necessarily makes anyone a bad person. Your disorder, your past, your trauma, etc doesn't make you a bad person. Your actions and your effort are what matter. It makes me so sad that plenty of wonderful people get grouped in with the bad apples and have to face the stigma and cultural shame. People with BPD deserve help, support, friends, and love just as much as anyone else.
secular society: Katie Morton
I believe I have bpd. I think i was in a relationship with a sociopath. he was a chronic Liar and manipulated me a lot. He said it was all my fault. He had a past with threesomes hookers and porn.
He said he hated the way I reacted when I caught him in these sites. I had a lot of reactive abuse and acted out I feel i destroyed the relationship. can you do a video on that kind of relationship? I felt like Harley Quinn and he was the Joker but obviously not as dramatic. I played tit for tat instead of letting him go because I really felt I was in love. he seemed to be attentive giving and romantic far beyond what i had experienced
before. I feel awful.
pixie1310: You need to do a video about all the BPD's who have attachment issues to you (like myself) and how to cope with never meeting you....please.....
Ed Driscol: Kati,
I do not entirely disagree with you, but at what point should a person with BPD own their disorder and get some help?
My ex "girlfriend" (if you can call her that) has BPD. She was abandoned at birth by her mother and then terribly sexually abused by her aunt's husband (at the age of six). One night I saw her personality split and the six year old (voice and all) emerge (Dissociative Identity). The multiple personality episode is how I learned about the sexual abuse (what a shock and I cried).
I tried to get her into therapy and I tried to heal her with love. In return she devalued, gas lighted, smeared, triangulated and attempted to destroy me, before I learned about malignant narcissism. All that I ever did was to treat her well and have her back.
My opinion is that you cannot feel sorry for an adult who will not seek help. Yes, they can be sadists and horrible people. You excuse the adult sadist by virtue of their volcanic childhood. I maintain they know the repetitive nature of their adult behavior and that they "choose" their false-self over therapy (she preferred her covert somatic narc tendencies). That choice is a conscious choice in order to avoid pain.
In the end; five years, travel, love and kindness from me equaled "zero credits" in her timeless present. She strung me along (even though we had an "end relationship" agreement) as she was replacing me. I ended things at the late devaluation stage, but it could easily be argued that she had already discarded me months before.
It's horrible when you think about it.
3D Editor: Kati Morton,
I know someone that has routinely displayed outwardly all of the characteristics of someone that struggles with BPD. This person also suffers from anxiety and depression, maybe some ptsd as well. She suffered multiple seizures in her early childhood, she was on prescribed meds for a while to help with that. She was separated from her dad and brother in her early childhood by her mom just packing up and leaving for good without notice to anyone in the family. Later in her teen and young adult years, she admitted to abusing illegal drugs and alcohol as a form of self medicating and social experimentation.
All of this has led into this person having false memories, while accusing people of things that never happened but in her own mind, because she's trying to fill some kind of void, insecurity or emptiness in her life. She thinks by tearing others down, making false allegations or making others feel responsible for her own self inflicted trials and errors, that will make her feel justified and safe in some how; a false sense of security.
That is destructive and harmful to others and herself. Her past and present words and behavior has tore some extended family apart because of her outwardly aggressive and harsh, negative lies, manipulation and behavior toward others.
I don't know how often she seeks counseling for adjustments, but I have noticed a pattern of the same destructive behavioral outbursts anytime a topic comes up that even slightly reminds her of what ever sets her off that may seem real to her as she has convinced quite a few like minded individuals in the past, but is unrealistic to everyone else that does think rationally.
I'm not sure now at this point if seeing Narcissistic traits with covert aggressive personality disorder would be reasonable, fair or accurate at this point, even though many things she has said and done was very intentional and vindictive, and she's well aware of what she's saying. When she lashes out, she clearly expresses heavy anxiety and high levels of stress and hysteria during some of her rants and tantrums.
A lot of people have learned to just take a big step back and just let her vent, otherwise they'll get chewed out with harsh criticism and accusations as well, unless they're going to side and cater to any of her negative criticism toward others; that seems to be the only thing that makes her feel safe and justified. This has been an on going behavioral disorder and mental illness for her for a long long time.
Would early childhood brain trauma through multiple seizures and being separated from her dad and brother, being taken away by her mother when she was very young, drug and alcohol abuse have a lot to do with these different symptoms? Those who truly care about her that have tried talking sense with her, have been pushed away on many occasions just for not agreeing with her self centered, lying manipulative, critical point of views. It's very sad.
Video on this topic
Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder: A Model of Emotion Regulation
Shari Manning, Ph.D. Healing Hearts Of Families: Understanding And Living With Borderline Personality Disorder The Menninger Clinic, November 10, 2012.
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