Borderline Personality Disorder is BAD? therapist kati morton talking BPD, psychology & therapy

Pre-order My New Book Today! ARE YOU OK? http://bit.ly/2s0mULy Negative videos seem to be going up about borderline personality disorder, specifically therapy, healthcare and mindfulness. I think that because so many people (professionals included) talk negatively about BPD, those of us who struggle with it can feel like it's hopeless and helpless. The truth is that BPD is something you can overcome! Yes it is a lot of work, but if we don't like how we are feeling then we have to do something about it to change it. Right?! It is my opinion that BPD is caused by either a lack of attachment to a primary care giver (mom, dad, grandma, etc) when we are a baby or it is caused by trauma. The attachment struggle can later lead to us trying to "fill" that need by other people in our lives, while also feeling scared that they will leave us too. So we want people around, and we want love and support, but we also fear that we can't trust people to be there for us and so we often try to push them away or even run away ourselves. Trauma can also lead to a lack of trust or feelings of safety. Therefore, our emotions can sort of "come out of nowhere" and we instantly feel scared and unsafe. Both of these situations lead us to feeling scared, not safe or trusting of those around us. That will make relationships very difficult. But does that make you a bad person? Absolutely not. I hope that you found this video helpful. Please share!! Because the more positive and accurate information we have out there the better. xox Videos about BPD: https://youtu.be/zPopjuKuweg https://youtu.be/E56S5cWSvuw Video about DBT: https://youtu.be/hDJi86n9-Rk Video with Hannah! https://youtu.be/KIBiRsK7uBA Website http://www.katimorton.com A BIG THANK YOU to my Patreon Patrons! Without you, I couldn't keep creating videos. xoxo https://www.patreon.com/katimorton I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos! Business email: linnea@toneymedia.com Download my workbooks: visit Itunes and search for Kati Morton Mail: PO Box #665 1223 Wilshire Blvd. Santa Monica, CA 90403

Comments

kmdn1: Kati, love your videos! I have a question about BPD- is it more common in people who had moved to another country as a child? I have noticed here and there that a few people I met who had bpd had experienced major culture shock while growing up. Which makes sense as it could be considered traumatic and make someone feel out of control and anxious.

MiningStar: Apart from BPD-Sufferers obviously deserving treatment and respect as people in their own right, lets not forget that this doesnt mean that they are not responsible for their actions.

Yes BPD-Patients suffer, but they can also in turn make people suffer tremendously and saying that every bad facet about BPD that is discussed online is a lie is neither scientific, nor helpful, nor a well informed opinion.

This doesnt mean that you are a bad person if you have BPD. This also doesnt mean that you have to be manipulative and ‘bad’ if you have it.
But writing off a lot of possible core symptoms that hurt the environment of BPD-Sufferers such as manipulative tendencies and the black-and-white emotional dysregulation as stigma doesnt help you or the other people affected by it.

Dont get too supportive of a mental illness. Be supportive of the people behind the illness.

Amanda Godin: Just watchwd Jordan B Peterson the other day on PBD and got my noose ready. Thabks for helping me untie it

sai suthan JHC: but i can't feel that I'm a good.... i do everything bad for other and me.... i hate the people who love me.... i like someone who destroyed me.... i thing I'm just a negative side.... I'm sorry maam....

shyla craig: I don't feel like a bad person but my BPD does make me feel like I am a burden. Like I am too much to put on someone or to deal with for anybody. Does anybody else feel this way? Like they would be a bad person if they chose to place themselves in someones life?

thirstylikethemoose: I don't know if you read any of the comments but there is a lot of people just trying to confirm how horrible people with BPD are and how they don't deserve to be in a relationship. It truly breaks my heart how ignorant and not understanding people are.

Danielle summer Pitmon: It actually scares me having BPD because I have no idea on how to handle it entirely

Somos más que dos: Oh boy... I wonder if you have a video for people who had a relationship with a borderline person and ended up traumatized, scared, and scarred? They can be very intense people

Ginger Troy: man I was just diagnosed with BPD and its weird that reading other peoples comments comforts me. I've been really discouraged though, because atm I can't get this DBT therapy or trauma therpy they recommend. but maybe what she said will work for now. And honestly when I first researched how to help BPD symptoms everything I read made it seem like there was no hope... whats up with that...

Beth: Scream back at that negative voice

Grant Ormsby: I don't think people with mental disorders are bad. However, after being with someone with undiagnosed BPD for several years, I can say that in my experience, they lash out at all those around them. She was the architect of her own misery and still is. I left her because she emotionally manipulated, bullied, and physically attacked me several times. After I left, SHE played the victim and twisted everything around to say that I somehow deserved it all and that I abandoned her. I heard someone say... Children get abandoned, adults get LEFT. Now we have a child together and she is purposefully keeping him from me and using him as a pawn in her desire to control me. She has made it clear that she will continue to punish me for leaving her using our baby as a weapon, and is completely unapologetic for it. Her primary concern seems to be vengeance for me leaving her. Yet she refuses to take any responsibility for why I left. This entire situation has made me feel literally insane. When you have been abused and your abuser is claiming abuse or that you somehow deserved it, there are no words for how crazy that can make you feel. There are no excuses for this kind of behaviour. I don't care if you were raised next to Chernobyl, if you fuck with people emotionally or physically, that's on you, not the disorder.

Amyna Dosani: Thank you for this video. I just got diagnosed last week after wondering about it and having cptsd from lifelong trauma. It's been heavy with me, feels hopeless, and like I'm not worthy of my job as a teacher or of a healthy relationship because I'll scare people away. I think that's the big thing I've always felt about severe mental illness from such a developmental age: that reality I deal with and live with every day is something people don't want to be exposed to or be around, so they are scared away, and I feel worse. It's tough. This video is so validating and I'm grateful for it.

Gwen Barrett: Nailed it..

sobs1410: Do check out the book on overcoming BPD by Valerie Porr

Carol Martin: There is another solution. Just don't get involved with people on any sort of deep or lasting level. We can get through life happily enough without close human relationships. People have done it forever. It's a lot easier than cleaning up the mess we make when someone gets too close. It's especially easy when we get older and people stop looking at us like a prospective mate - when they stop intruding on your life. Get a cat. Take up a solitary hobby and start having your groceries delivered. There's just one rule - never get personal. Embrace the invisibility. It's really a superpower.

777 Yo: That’s right thnaks

777 Yo: Damn dog why?

Chapstick Addict: Being a victim of someone who was abused by someone with bpd has given me a negative relation to this disorder but as I heal more and more, I am beginning to be more empathetic to that person with bpd. I am not longer in contact with that person. They arent working on their disorder. They are in complete denial over it and therefore have harmed so many people verbally and this person experiences issues with friendships. I actually feel empathy. I am working on forgiveness and empathy, its hard but the more I do, the better of a healed person I have become.

Julie Julie: My mother has BPD and the only 'solution' or 'cure' has been to cut all contact. I am afraid that her sh*tty parenting has made me BPD as well.

Cara Sachs: Very true, BPD doesn’t mean the person is bad or evil. My mother has both Narcissistic Personality Disorder and BPD. She is incredibly abusive (because of the narcissism, but throw in the BPD stuff for good measure and it was crazy-making for me). She controlled my entire life until I was 43 years old. By that I mean I was kept completely isolated (I’m disabled which helped her a lot) and abused in every way possible. I’m an empath and I became the “identified patient” for my entire family. I was nearly diagnosed with BPD (but I actually have CPTSD). I went through a few rounds of DBT. I think it can be very valuable, and skills that everyone should be taught right from childhood. However I was labeled as “resistant”. Why? Because I couldn’t do the homework. My ONLY social contact was my mother and it put my life at risk to try to use those skills with her. They never bothered to look at WHY I couldn’t do the homework. Fast forward 20+ years: I’ve been No Contact with my toxic mother and sister for over 2.5 years, and it was the BEST decision I ever made, even though it was scary and painful as hell. The other thing though is that I’ve been working with an outstanding therapist and she has been trained in a new type of therapy that is designed SPECIFICALLY for people with severe and complex trauma. It’s very interesting and I’ve been seeing results in terms of true healing from very, very deep wounds. I believe my therapist will begin helping other therapists get trained in this, as she says “therapists are starving for this”. It’s called DNMS, short for “Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy”, and it’s created by a woman named Shirley Jean Schmidt. Here’s a link to a slideshow overview of how this works. It’s about 24 minutes long and totally worth it. Fair warning, when I originally watched this I was sobbing, so keep the Kleenex nearby!

https://youtu.be/Bi9rYwCGadk

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