Welcome to Hard Talk. I'm Isaiah. You're here for the hard truth and I'm here to give it to you. Just because someone is close to you doesn't mean they know what's best for you. They don't. You know what's best for you. You need to stay true to yourself. Here's how. First, never sacrifice your identity to someone else. Second, set strict boundaries for your space and your time. Third, don't feel obligated to care about the same things that someone else cares about. Look, letting other people change you is a sure-fire way to end up miserable. Check this out. A study published by the British Medical Journal asked a group of people to agree with their relationship partner's every opinion and request without complaint even if they believed their partner was wrong. The quality of life of both the participants was measured using a scoring scare of 1-10, 10 being the best possible quality of life and 1 being the least. The results, after only twelve days the agreeing participants quality of life score fell from a 7 on average to a 3, a 7 to a 3 in less than two weeks. If you want to stop being miserable, you have to stop letting other people change you. You have to stay true to yourself. You have to stop compromising. Here's how. First, stop sacrificing your identity to someone else. Being in a relationship is not easy. It doesn't matter if it's a friendship, romantic relationship, family relationship or any other type of relationship. Either way things can get hard. Over time, more and more conflicts will happen and as a result it becomes easier and easier to stop standing up for yourself. It becomes easier to stop doing what you want to do to just to keep the peace. It becomes easy to lose who you are. Too many people sacrifice who they are at their core just to keep other people from going crazy. They sacrifice their very soul to keep smaller minded people from creating drama. This is wrong. These same people falsely assume that keeping the peace is morally right. They think that killing the fight inside of them is the right thing to do, but it's not. Nothing could be further from the truth. Killing the fight inside of you is not self-sacrifice, it's self destruction. By rolling over again and again, you don't become stronger; you become a former shell of yourself. Don't make the mistake of changing who you are just to keep someone else happy or just to keep someone else around. Keep yourself in check by always asking yourself, "What do I really want? Is this what the real me would do or is this what the fake me would do?" Second, set strict boundaries for your space and time. When you have to pay bills, meet obligations, and provide for others, it's hard to find time for yourself. Not only is it hard to find alone time, it's hard to feel like it's okay to be alone. Too many people feel uncomfortable or even feel guilty for spending time by themselves. They feel selfish for making room for their own thoughts, desires, and actions. The problem with this is that your quality of life improves with the more time you spend with yourself. The more alone time you have, the more you're able to give to relationships. If you're not mentally and physically at a 100%, you can't be there for others 100%. The value you add to yourself is proportional to the value you can add to your relationships so start protecting your space and start protecting your time. Realize that you need time and space for relaxation, reflection, and self-improvement. If you're always busy giving your time and space to someone else you will never grow. You'll never get better. You'll never be able to give more. Third, don't feel obligated to care about the same things that someone else cares about. Everyone is not obligated to fight for the same cause. Everyone is not obligated to do what you want to do. At the same time, you are not obligated to do what other people want you to do. You have to decide what's important to you and stick to it. If you constantly let people distract you from your goals in life, you'll never get anywhere. If you constantly let people use drama to steal your attention, you will fail so stop feeling obligated to care about other people's problems. Stop letting people make you feel guilty. Instead, start putting your time and energy towards things you believe in. Start feeling obligated to yourself. Do this and you'll live a more confident and focused life. Until next time, live like a lion.
saeed zulfi: Thank you so much
HelloDolly .Pullip: i'm new to your channel and I really like it :)
Salahuddin Salahuddin: this was the key video that changed my thinking and helped me so much. thanks again!!!
Gwen Kamara: So true.....thanks you are so inspirational and positive 👏👏👏
Ekaterina Horn: Omg! This is amazing! I’m so happy I found this video when i needed it most!
Shamsun Nahar Nahar: Thanks.
Olga Orlova: This sort of stupid videos is very helpful for drug addicted , alcoholics and other destructive youngsters and adults who want to get rid of the care of their close ones.
Frank Haubrich: Great video keep it up man
WildCat DNA: Dude you literally saved my life! I feel so much better and free!
Knowing how to set boundaries and stop ✋ manipulation is great!
Manipulators constantly trying to make me feel guilty to control me, the succeeded in the past but now they don't stand a chance after watching your videos about manipulation!
Thank you so much Isaiah 👍
Peter Cofrancesco: Self-preservation, obligation to no one but yourself first !well-said , said well read ! Thank you very much ! One of the best advice about oneself in life !
kyla porter: I tried very hard to
Keep the peace no matter what I did it didn't work.
Myopic Myopia: Thank you. I was sacrificing what I wanted in my last relationship and accepted excuses for them not being up to par. I was losing myself. Needed to hear this.Thanks again
Janet Foster: Love learning from you awesome. Thank you. I was telling my son about you today and shared your link. You get straight to the point like that.
Compromised Serenity: It hurts so bad the guilt I feel when trying to set boundaries for myself? Why is that? Maybe, I already know the answer. It hurts more to hear I'm a selfish bitch and uncaring or misunderstood. And then feel worse cause I start trying to get the person to understand. It turns into me defending myself against harsh tongues only to find I've given the harsh tongue right back. Ugh. I hate that I can't just shut the heck up sometimes because a person who feels that strongly about it never desires to understand me. I'm still not going to give up trying though. I just need to learn more effective approaches to setting my own limits and boundaries.
Gwendolyn Wehage: WE should only care about Christ changing us then we can be peaceful and led by God Himself. Our quality of life improves the more we spend time with God.
Linsey Donovan: Oh my god I've never commented on a video but wow! THANK YOU! I needed this speech
Bob Mag: 👍
a: Thanks! Great advice. 101% agree. Now I understand everything.
Imran Hadi: I cried watching this video it woke me up making me realizing everyday I'm becoming more and more of my fake self to the point I don't know who I am anymore
Baljit Grewal: Thankyou for strong advice.
Isaiah you have beautiful eyes.
Video on this topic
1.151 - Who's Pulling Your Strings? - BREAK FREE from manipulation NOW!
Find more help via http://www.psychopathfree.com.
"Stop Emotionally Manipulative Relationships" Seminar with Margalis Fjelstad, Ph.D., LMFT
This is a video excerpt featuring Margalis Fjelstad, Ph.D., LMFT, from her video lecture entitled "Stop Emotionally Manipulative Relationships: Empower ...
Why You Should Stop Accepting Help From Psychologically Manipulative People | Dr. Isaiah Hankel
Have you experienced this “wolf in sheep's clothing” trick? You know, the one where well-meaning supporters with honorable intentions of generosity and ...
How to Avoid Being Manipulated: 7 Secrets
Mind manipulation is something that is very real. It happens all the time, because it is in fact one of the most powerful ways to control people's thoughts and ...
Dr. Phil: Protect yourself from BAITERs
Dr. Phil, author of "Life Code," shares tips with Dr. Sanjay Gupta about how to get rid of toxic people from your life. For more CNN videos, visit our site at ...
Emotional Manipulators-Toxic People Who Minimize Us Its Always About Them!
Were you raised by emotional manipulators? Were you abandoned emotionally? Were your feelings minimized? Was there a lot of sarcasm in your home?
Breaking Free from Manipulative, Narcissistic Parents (& Moonstruck, the movie)
Welcome to Paint Yourself Into the Picture, healing conversations to help us create the best, boldest and most beautiful picture of our lives. I'm so glad you're ...
How To Deal With Someone Who Emotionally Manipulates People | Dr. Isaiah Hankel | Manipulators
Manipulative people are lurking everywhere. Spotting them and knowing how to effectively deal with them will prevent them from having power over you.
How To Break Free From Manipulative People
Welcome to Hard Talk. I'm Isaiah. You're here for the hard truth and I'm here to give it to you. Just because someone is close to you doesn't mean they know ...