Welcome to Hard Talk. I'm Isaiah. You're here for the hard truth and I'm here to give it to you. Just because someone is close to you doesn't mean they know what's best for you. They don't. You know what's best for you. You need to stay true to yourself. Here's how. First, never sacrifice your identity to someone else. Second, set strict boundaries for your space and your time. Third, don't feel obligated to care about the same things that someone else cares about. Look, letting other people change you is a sure-fire way to end up miserable. Check this out. A study published by the British Medical Journal asked a group of people to agree with their relationship partner's every opinion and request without complaint even if they believed their partner was wrong. The quality of life of both the participants was measured using a scoring scare of 1-10, 10 being the best possible quality of life and 1 being the least. The results, after only twelve days the agreeing participants quality of life score fell from a 7 on average to a 3, a 7 to a 3 in less than two weeks. If you want to stop being miserable, you have to stop letting other people change you. You have to stay true to yourself. You have to stop compromising. Here's how. First, stop sacrificing your identity to someone else. Being in a relationship is not easy. It doesn't matter if it's a friendship, romantic relationship, family relationship or any other type of relationship. Either way things can get hard. Over time, more and more conflicts will happen and as a result it becomes easier and easier to stop standing up for yourself. It becomes easier to stop doing what you want to do to just to keep the peace. It becomes easy to lose who you are. Too many people sacrifice who they are at their core just to keep other people from going crazy. They sacrifice their very soul to keep smaller minded people from creating drama. This is wrong. These same people falsely assume that keeping the peace is morally right. They think that killing the fight inside of them is the right thing to do, but it's not. Nothing could be further from the truth. Killing the fight inside of you is not self-sacrifice, it's self destruction. By rolling over again and again, you don't become stronger; you become a former shell of yourself. Don't make the mistake of changing who you are just to keep someone else happy or just to keep someone else around. Keep yourself in check by always asking yourself, "What do I really want? Is this what the real me would do or is this what the fake me would do?" Second, set strict boundaries for your space and time. When you have to pay bills, meet obligations, and provide for others, it's hard to find time for yourself. Not only is it hard to find alone time, it's hard to feel like it's okay to be alone. Too many people feel uncomfortable or even feel guilty for spending time by themselves. They feel selfish for making room for their own thoughts, desires, and actions. The problem with this is that your quality of life improves with the more time you spend with yourself. The more alone time you have, the more you're able to give to relationships. If you're not mentally and physically at a 100%, you can't be there for others 100%. The value you add to yourself is proportional to the value you can add to your relationships so start protecting your space and start protecting your time. Realize that you need time and space for relaxation, reflection, and self-improvement. If you're always busy giving your time and space to someone else you will never grow. You'll never get better. You'll never be able to give more. Third, don't feel obligated to care about the same things that someone else cares about. Everyone is not obligated to fight for the same cause. Everyone is not obligated to do what you want to do. At the same time, you are not obligated to do what other people want you to do. You have to decide what's important to you and stick to it. If you constantly let people distract you from your goals in life, you'll never get anywhere. If you constantly let people use drama to steal your attention, you will fail so stop feeling obligated to care about other people's problems. Stop letting people make you feel guilty. Instead, start putting your time and energy towards things you believe in. Start feeling obligated to yourself. Do this and you'll live a more confident and focused life. Until next time, live like a lion.
My Therapy: My problem is that I have too much alone time lol #loner
Lauren Christine: This is making me sad.....
Jacked Butt Muscles: A little short-term discomfort of mentioning a boundary now can bring a lot of security in the long-term future. Pains should be short-term, not long-term. Holding all the pains in is a long-term struggle that can evolve mental stress into physical chronic ailment and aches. Holding back on what's important with the people most involved in our life is often attacking ourself if we still can't forgive the same thing we are holding back. If we have to always pretend to be happy with someone - is it truly worth it? Is it truly painful inside? Why not be free to live a truly lively experience?
Narcissists smell: Wow. Very insightful and just what I needed to hear.
Kanvas King: These are great videos! Truth and to the point!
Cindy L: Agree !! I go to work just to be alone and breathe or play my violin
c k: I subscribed to your link because you have very valid points that struck true to me and I love the hard talk delivery. However, maybe quit hand steeple-ing (sp) in all of your videos as it really puts off those who like straight talk. You come across as arrogant.
Anis Matar: Thank you, in those 4 minutes you summarized the lifetime worth of best eyes opening advice. Now I only wish if I could have watch it before I got married and had kids, alas.
Pippy Barlow: Made my day
Elation Vision: you are wonderful. I am being manipulated and this advice helped me a lot.
All Top Scene: thanks a lot but i have a friend who always tries to manipulate .talks trash about me and if i have good relation with other people he talks trash infront of and behind my back, kind of creating a bad environment for me and taking advantage of the situation .thus isolating me from the group. i have noticed, that my initial interaction with new peoples is nice but this guy talks bad that too in a manupilative way that no one can call him bad .But in the proccess i m the one who suffers. plz help me
I hope u are understanding what i m saying .
waiting for your reply.
Elizabeth Brown: Thankyou
sylvia johnson: That's an amazing thank u for that video God bless ur heart
Sam Daniele: Wow!! That is EXACTLY What I've done, I have sacrifised myself to the CORE 2 Stop someone else going crazy which has taken my s soul , I never do what I WANT , because what I want is to be alone, and at least for a couple of weeks, and he can't handle it, I gotta read ur book he's just pulled in driveway, now I'm sad again. This suckd
Anupama Lotke: This is what exactly I ever wanted!!! This is very very fantastic video. It will definitely help me . Thank you !!!
Satans Daughter: I hate manipulative people. Hate is a strong word, that's why I used it.
Opalicious Does Art: My manipulative friend won't let me cut her out. What should I do? She threatens (and will go through with it) to spread true and false information.
Jaline Sousa: Thank you!
Tawna Sparks: thank you so much for posting this!! I really needed the wakeup call
Alexi D.: I love your videos!!! Thank you!!!
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