Brené Brown on Blame

You are probably a bit of a blamer - most of us are. But why should we give it up? In this witty sequel to our most watched RSA Short, inspirational thinker Brené Brown considers why we blame others, how it sabotages our relationships, and why we desperately need to move beyond this toxic behaviour. Voice: Dr Brené Brown Animation: Katy Davis AKA Gobblynne http://www.gobblynne.com Production and Editing: Al Francis-Sears and Abi Stephenson Watch the original talk here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXSjc-pbXk4 Follow the RSA on Twitter: https://twitter.com/RSAEvents Like the RSA on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thersaorg

Comments

Mario: I want to check out those "studies" and what they "say". Because I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with this self-help nonsense.

Jolene Rader: Sadly I know someone like this & with such she has isolated all her friends & children because they simply can't be around her & her blame game.

Mo Riddiford: I'm sorry, but I have a problem with any video creator who casually uses a slogan like "21st Century Enlightenment". Unless you're referring to the European Enlightenment, and even then it's not great. Otherwise it's sloppy terminology.

gordon mo: Damn you Steve lol

Nadia Maciam: Accoubtability, is a vulnerable process

Sayeedah Juman: Wow this is really good! I love this

Hannah Logan: So simple, utter genius.

Sharon Hutchinson: Very clever made me understand it more in cartoon form! 😜

Sharon Hutchinson: This is hilarious!

Alexandria: Would like if someone can debate me on this:
Ok. Always trying to blame someone else for something isn't healthy, we've established that. But why is not blaming one's self or distributing blame in your mind a bad thing? Like the video said: "it gives us some semblance of control". Having control is very important to the conscious mind. Sure, being over-controlling and anxious about things is unproductive as well. But that's at an extreme.

Like in the coffee situation, I would react with "Damn you steve", but also blame myself. "I shouldn't have drank that extra cup last night". or "Maybe I should find a way to sleep earlier without steve being home, so I don't end up all clumsy and disoriented the next morning". I feel like identifying where the problem (blame) lies, you can better manage the solution and the steps to get there. eg. Talk to Steve about not staying out too late, manage my own sleep schedule better, not go for that extra cup of coffee etc.

I feel like it's unproductive and honestly quite dumb to just go, "oh well! That must have been a completely random event where 0 blame should be distributed." That kind of thinking doesn't really get you anywhere... or is it an "Ignorance is bliss" kind of thing? I don't really get it.

Hope Hurteau: blame is the judgmental minds attempt to escape its own feelings of shame caused by its own negative self judgment by putting it on someone else and shaming them instead. judgmentalism is the opposite of understanding/empathy/loving.

SF: So true

Dawn Snell: absolutely LOVE this dr brown she has left me feeling empowered n on a natural high!!!!--she made it easy n comfortable to effectively understand what she was communicating on the human behavior!!! bravo lady excellent jon doc!

Ana Lozada: Poor Steve! Lol
I actually blame myself, and call myself "dumb ass" when I drop things, or do anything wrong. (I know, Negative self talk) I'm aware of this, and correct myself afterwards lol

Laura Ray: I find I often blame myself to have control over what has happened.

Dawn Marie Roper: I love this.

James Hightower: lol.. when I lose something on my bed like a remote control I say dammit cat! Where did you hide it? I know it wasn't the cat, I misplaced it, so it is a privete joke. On South Park the kids found the elves who steal everyone's left sock, and had this huge pile of left socks. The funny thing was that they steal all the left socks when there are no left or right socks. People want to blame others and even the supernatural for things. Sure, inconsiderate thoughtless unempathetic sellfish people do things and are to blame as well, but will never admit it, and point the finger at you. You are supposed to watch out for the apathetic crap they pull. They are somehow not responsable for the consequences of their actions and inactions. It is always your fualt no matter what. People you deal with every day do not want to be wrong about anything, it is some ego trip. They cannot admit something was their fault from their apathy or laziness. They will never apologize or admit fault. They will blame you. Lets say someonemakes cereal, and is too lazy to close the plastic or the box top, and tp lazy to put the box all the way back on the top of the refridgerator but partly on the top of the door. Sabatoge. You open the refrigerator door and the box of cereal falls and makes a mess. Is it your fualt for not checking if the lazy apathetic person secured and placed the box correctly, or theirs for being inconsiderate, apathetic and lazy?

aja A: please make more of this.. the lesson stick.

Catherine Ogwuru: I just got schooled by you. Thank you. I blame people a whole lot when things don't go my way, but sometimes underneath it all, I know it's my fault. Thank you once again.

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