Brené Brown on Blame

You are probably a bit of a blamer - most of us are. But why should we give it up? In this witty sequel to our most watched RSA Short, inspirational thinker Brené Brown considers why we blame others, how it sabotages our relationships, and why we desperately need to move beyond this toxic behaviour. Voice: Dr Brené Brown Animation: Katy Davis AKA Gobblynne http://www.gobblynne.com Production and Editing: Al Francis-Sears and Abi Stephenson Watch the original talk here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXSjc-pbXk4 Follow the RSA on Twitter: https://twitter.com/RSAEvents Like the RSA on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thersaorg

Comments

BodyTalk Minneapolis: "my feelings were hurt" could perhaps be victim consciousness. feelings most likely don't get hurt, they are biological chemical reactions that happen based on our worldview, beliefs, phobias and active memories.

. I'm sensing she felt angry and sad. how can there accountability when we are not acknowledging our ability to respond by owning our own emotional wake, including having the perception that feelings are hurt. that's still blame and it is subtle and not perhaps overt.

"the conversation (with our self and others) is the relationship. the conversation is not about the relationship, and relationships are built (and end) one conversation at a time" - susan scott

appletree: Brene is very wise and she also makes an adorable animated character.

mowgli2071: I just blame God. Works for everything

kterbo: Blame never bothers me as much as denial from others. They should go hand in hand. Denial is just as dangerous.

Alexa I Am: So GOOD!!!

poulayot Studios: C´est tellement vrai.

Mario: I want to check out those "studies" and what they "say". Because I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with this self-help nonsense.

Jolene Rader: Sadly I know someone like this & with such she has isolated all her friends & children because they simply can't be around her & her blame game.

communicationTRUSTpower: I'm sorry, but I have a problem with any video creator who casually uses a slogan like "21st Century Enlightenment". Unless you're referring to the European Enlightenment, and even then it's not great. Otherwise it's sloppy terminology.

gordon mo: Damn you Steve lol

Nadia Maciam: Accoubtability, is a vulnerable process

Sayeedah Juman: Wow this is really good! I love this

Hannah Logan: So simple, utter genius.

Sharon Hutchinson: Very clever made me understand it more in cartoon form! 😜

Sharon Hutchinson: This is hilarious!

Alexandria: Would like if someone can debate me on this:
Ok. Always trying to blame someone else for something isn't healthy, we've established that. But why is not blaming one's self or distributing blame in your mind a bad thing? Like the video said: "it gives us some semblance of control". Having control is very important to the conscious mind. Sure, being over-controlling and anxious about things is unproductive as well. But that's at an extreme.

Like in the coffee situation, I would react with "Damn you steve", but also blame myself. "I shouldn't have drank that extra cup last night". or "Maybe I should find a way to sleep earlier without steve being home, so I don't end up all clumsy and disoriented the next morning". I feel like identifying where the problem (blame) lies, you can better manage the solution and the steps to get there. eg. Talk to Steve about not staying out too late, manage my own sleep schedule better, not go for that extra cup of coffee etc.

I feel like it's unproductive and honestly quite dumb to just go, "oh well! That must have been a completely random event where 0 blame should be distributed." That kind of thinking doesn't really get you anywhere... or is it an "Ignorance is bliss" kind of thing? I don't really get it.

Hope Hurteau: blame is the judgmental minds attempt to escape its own feelings of shame caused by its own negative self judgment by putting it on someone else and shaming them instead. judgmentalism is the opposite of understanding/empathy/loving.

SF: So true

Dawn Snell: absolutely LOVE this dr brown she has left me feeling empowered n on a natural high!!!!--she made it easy n comfortable to effectively understand what she was communicating on the human behavior!!! bravo lady excellent jon doc!

Ana Lozada: Poor Steve! Lol
I actually blame myself, and call myself "dumb ass" when I drop things, or do anything wrong. (I know, Negative self talk) I'm aware of this, and correct myself afterwards lol

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Courtesy of RSA Shorts.

Brené Brown on Blame

Brené Brown on Blame

Brené Brown on Blame

Brené Brown on Blame

You are probably a bit of a blamer - most of us are. But why should we give it up? In this witty sequel to our most watched RSA Short, inspirational thinker Brené Brown considers why we blame...